Dealing with Anger

Anger is a tool. Anger is an emotional response to signal when things go against our ideals of how people could be and how the world functions. You can't see appalling things happen and be immune to the feelings of anger that will emerge - it's a useful emotion.

It's how you react to those situations that mark you out as someone who understands anger and knows the consequences of letting it get out of control. After all, allowing your response to become physical, so that you damage someone in the process of expressing your anger, shows no respect either for your own ability to live from your heart, or for the wellbeing of the person who is on the receiving end of it.

Violence and anger is not the same thing and they do not go hand in hand.

Remember the last time you had a blazing row with someone? Remember how you didn't hear what the other person was saying - you didn't want to hear and you sure as heck didn't think they might be right. You wanted to punish them. You wanted to put up barriers and withhold friendship and block out what they were saying.

Remember that we all have is the right to say how we feel. We all need to be heard, our feelings acknowledged, and to be understood. If you shout and yell, what chance is there to resolve anything?

Remind yourself - anger is an emotion like any other. Like fear, love, delight, grief. But you can learn how to express your anger in a constructive way. By learning how to channel your anger, you not only stay open hearted and loving, you also teach others how to manage their own anger.

Try something right now. Think back to the last person you felt really angry with. Take a moment to remember what made you so mad.

Now imagine yourself in their shoes. Try to put in words what you remember them saying and why they said the things they did, or did the things that you believed started off the row. And now imagine yourself back in that situation, but this time saying that because of what has been said or done, you feel angry. Own the anger. No blame, no judgments. No-one can make you angry - it's your emotional response and you can learn to choose how to respond in the future.

Isn't it easier to say that you're angry in a calm and loving way? Isn't it more likely that, had you used love to deal with the situation, you might have connected and found a healthy, loving way to resolve the problem?

Yes it's a challenge. But you have such power and inner strength in you that the further you go along that journey, you will eventually meet it. Believe that you will.

Neel Raman, is an author, keynote speaker and coach to many. He has written ‘Hoops and Freedom’, an informative and powerful self-improvement book, in the form of an entertaining fiction story, targeted at those who want and demand more from life. To find out more about this book and his FREE offers, visit: http://www.HoopsAndFreedom.com

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